Thursday, September 14, 2006

my name is sally ... for Poetry Thursday

"coins in my cup"

This week's prompt for Poetry Thursday is to write as if you are someone other than yourself. Besides mrs heartwell, I've gotten to know a woman I call crazy sally. I've written about her but never in her voice. So, I thought I'd give it a try ... this is what I got.

my name is sally

i’m sixty-three
found two dollars
in change not enough
for coffee a sandwich
tuna on rye
lettuce a slice of tomato
i’ll wait
a few crusts here
and there collect
coins in my cup
watch for the cop
no loitering
in doorways
on grates
it’s winter
i’m tired
almost out
of aspirin my knees
the pain so sharp
it’s hard to move
fast when
big john
he scares me
yells and shouts
tries to grab
my hair
when he’s
i lost my comb
the other day
when i fell
in the street
cars kept coming
no one stopped
it’s cold
i need
a place
in the sun
no wind
it could



brian said...


Thanks for stopping by Dewy's blog.

This is a great poem. It shows the reality of being homeless and the hopelessness of the underclass. I also read your most recent Tankas, very nice. I liked your comment about how you weren't sure whether they fit the structure. I like Haiku better, and Sestinas.

Thanks again for stopping by.

beccabee2005 said...

You've really captured Sally's voice, and drawn the reader right into that sad and frightening world of homelessness. Very moving...

twitches said...

I think is pretty amazing. The short lines work well, and really capture the rhythm of a slightly senseless rant. Nice job!

GreenishLady said...

That is so very well done. The line that just really caught my heart completely was "I lost my comb". Such a small thing, and such a big thing! Thank you.

kj said...

hello. my first visit to your blog: i like the crisp way you capture sally's voice.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Yes, Sally really speaks to me through this poem. Well done.

lisrobbe said...

hello! this was great. great description and insight into us really being able to feel close to sally and her life.

paris parfait said...

Such a powerful poem - very touching and sad - and all too real. With your words you've captured the sad way of life for too many people. The minute I read this, I immediately thought of a homeless woman I used to see on occasion in San Mateo, California.

michelle said...

i need
a place
in the sun