Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Tanka ... for One Deep Breath

December Cold, 2005

I'm not exactly sure that this is Tanka, but judging from some of the examples that the gals at One Deep Breath provided, it well might be. It does fits the "emotional" style of such poems, but the rhythm is its own. For more Tanka and links to Tanka sights go to One Deep Breath.

somber memories
eyes filled with tears
i lift my umbrella
wind blows in bursts

a plain pine box
the coffin
your son made
as his soul raged
hammer striking nails

remember your joy
finding me
when i was lost
in a snow storm
hands blue with cold

i am the daughter
warmed by your love
he the forgotten one
who bruised your ego
breaking his heart

in december cold
rain turns to snow
wishing you safe journey
he stands in shadows
your steel heart just now still



paris parfait said...

Raw, powerful emotion expressed in your poem. Very poignant and touching.

Anonymous said...

Holy Hesue Joan !
What have you done there ?
Just Deep!


LuluBunny said...

Absolutely wonderul poem!!! Deep, beautiful, simply great! And I love the photo too.

And thanks for stopping by my blog :)

Clare said...

Very thoughtful.

Sandy said...

First, a beautiful winter scene.
All are so expressive, my favorite, the snow storm tanka.

beccabee2005 said...

This is heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. That last line ..."your steel heart just now still" gave me shivers.

Marvelous work!

AnnieElf said...

Marvelous tankas expressing so much about life. Very emotional.

Tammy said...

Wow! Very touching and powerful tanga. Well done!

Crafty Green Poet said...

Beautiful and moving. Love the photo too.

Visual-Voice said...

You continue to impress!!!

Jennifer said...

Well, I'm just learning haiku, tanka etc. myself. We will all learn together. This is an amazing series. "Shivers" is the perfect description for how I feel reading this.