December Cold, 2005I'm not exactly sure that this is Tanka, but judging from some of the examples that the gals at One Deep Breath provided, it well might be. It does fits the "emotional" style of such poems, but the rhythm is its own. For more Tanka and links to Tanka sights go to One Deep Breath.
somber memories
eyes filled with tears
i lift my umbrella
heavenward
wind blows in bursts
a plain pine box
the coffin
your son made
as his soul raged
hammer striking nails
remember your joy
finding me
when i was lost
in a snow storm
hands blue with cold
i am the daughter
warmed by your love
he the forgotten one
who bruised your ego
breaking his heart
in december cold
rain turns to snow
wishing you safe journey
he stands in shadows
your steel heart just now still
9/10/06
jzr
10 comments:
Raw, powerful emotion expressed in your poem. Very poignant and touching.
Holy Hesue Joan !
What have you done there ?
Big
Cold
Hard
Mad
Nostalgia
Deep
Just Deep!
zed
Absolutely wonderul poem!!! Deep, beautiful, simply great! And I love the photo too.
And thanks for stopping by my blog :)
First, a beautiful winter scene.
All are so expressive, my favorite, the snow storm tanka.
This is heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. That last line ..."your steel heart just now still" gave me shivers.
Marvelous work!
Marvelous tankas expressing so much about life. Very emotional.
Wow! Very touching and powerful tanga. Well done!
Beautiful and moving. Love the photo too.
You continue to impress!!!
Well, I'm just learning haiku, tanka etc. myself. We will all learn together. This is an amazing series. "Shivers" is the perfect description for how I feel reading this.
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