Pansies in February, © Joan Z. Rough, 2008When we left last Wednesday to see my brother in New Hampshire, the river was frozen over and the poor robins looked very chilly indeed. Yesterday we arrived home to find the river running a muddy brown after over 1 1/4 inches of rain in the morning. Today it is sunny and it will be near 70 degrees. It was fairly warm in New Hampshire (mid to upper 30's). We were stuck in our hotel most of the day on Friday because of a nasty ice storm. When I lived in Vermont some 29 years ago, ice storms were almost unheard of. The precipitation was always snow in the winter and lots of it, lasting sometimes until May. There is much brown ground beginning to show now in the northern climes.
Though it was wonderful to see my brother, his son and wife and my lovely little grandniece, Anya, the circumstances were not happy. Reid, my brother, does have esophageal cancer. We still don't know at what stage the cancer is ... his PET scan hasn't been done yet for one reason or another ... so we wait, wonder and pray for the best ... that his life can be lived a bit longer and in as little pain as possible.
The teachings of the Buddha, tell us that nothing is permanent ... like the weather patterns, everything changes from day to day, moment to moment and no matter how much we believe we have control over life, we really don't. The pansies that looked dead before we left are now looking full of life. Little Anya grows and now has two teeth. Before long she will be a year old and will rush across the room to see her grandfather, Reid. My hair is growing greyer. My memory doesn't work as well as it used to and my brother's cancer grows as it consumes him. I hate the process, yet it is life ... every moment is wonderous and to be lived as if it were our last. I find myself feeling sad, then being able to gradually let go and to feel happy taking in the warmth and sunshine of this moment, this day.
Though it was wonderful to see my brother, his son and wife and my lovely little grandniece, Anya, the circumstances were not happy. Reid, my brother, does have esophageal cancer. We still don't know at what stage the cancer is ... his PET scan hasn't been done yet for one reason or another ... so we wait, wonder and pray for the best ... that his life can be lived a bit longer and in as little pain as possible.
The teachings of the Buddha, tell us that nothing is permanent ... like the weather patterns, everything changes from day to day, moment to moment and no matter how much we believe we have control over life, we really don't. The pansies that looked dead before we left are now looking full of life. Little Anya grows and now has two teeth. Before long she will be a year old and will rush across the room to see her grandfather, Reid. My hair is growing greyer. My memory doesn't work as well as it used to and my brother's cancer grows as it consumes him. I hate the process, yet it is life ... every moment is wonderous and to be lived as if it were our last. I find myself feeling sad, then being able to gradually let go and to feel happy taking in the warmth and sunshine of this moment, this day.
2 comments:
This is such a difficult and painful time. I hold you in my heart. Be well.
What Deidre said. I do hope Reid and his family will have some more precious time together.
The pansies are so lovely.
Post a Comment