Friday, May 11, 2007

The Truth Is ....

Tree Peony #2, 2007

The truth is I'm happy ... I'm happy that it's spring. I'm happy for all that I have ... people sending loving kindness ... the unexpected rain shower that helps my garden grow ... fresh local strawberries that fill the kitchen with wonderful perfume when I bring them home. I'm happy I'm me and not someone else who has more or less, or everything I've always wanted. I'm finding I need just what I have ... nothing more ... nothing less. All the things I've always wanted and don't have are completely irrelevant.

Yes, there is sadness and fear as well, but the happy part of my life is what fills me up and keeps me going. Working in the garden as I weed or transplant flowers to a new bed, I listen to the calls of cardinals and bluebirds as they go about their work of building new nests or feeding their young. Nearby in a dense grove of oaks, a wood thrush sings his magnificent, liquid song, proclaiming his presence. I, too, am here, doing what I can to make the best of what is.

My mother is dying, but sometime in the coming days, her third great grandchild will make her way into the world, a smiling bundle of joy we'll christen with hope and best wishes for a glorious life. We'll sing out her name and make her presence known ... a new life to rekindle an older flame as it fades.

This is the time of year that makes the great circle of life so obvious. As the tulips die back, Iris and peonies take their place. Soon there will be roses ... plump pink beauties I'll pick for the table ... their fragrance will fill the room. After a while they'll drop their petals on the linen cloth and once again I'll be reminded of change and how life has a way of moving on while I'm busy doing other things.


Kate I said...

what a lovely photograph! I have always loved peonies but unfortunately don't have any in my very shady garden. I lost my mother 2 years ago and even when you know that they've had a long and good life, it's still hard to say goodbye. Yes, it's a part of life and the new life that enter's the family is such a help and blessing. I'm glad you've been able to find happiness even in your sadness.
I've poked in and out of your blog a few times and enjoy reading it. Happy Mother's Day to you and all the mother's in your family!

Becca said...

Joan, once again you've uplifted me with your hopeful words and lovely photograph. This time of year invites hope, even in the midst of sadness, with new life springing up so beautifully everywhere.

Thank you for sharing your vision.

Visual-Voice said...

"I'm happy I'm me and not someone else who has more or less, or everything I've always wanted."

This speaks to me... the entire post is just so true. I'd like to link to this from my blog, can I?


Anonymous said...

beautiful words, mom.... thanks for the glorious reminder! love you!


deirdre said...

There's so much richness in this. The joy of life, and all it brings, radiates. I'll be thinking of you.

tongue in cheek said...

Thinking of you. Sending you prayers of tenderness and continue grace.