Sunday, July 13, 2008

Alive And Well ...

Oh yes, I'm still here! Been tangled in a web of days that are far too short for all that I want to do. Time has a habit of running away with me. It seems I roll out of bed in the morning and the next thing I know, it's time for shut-eye again.

I'm in transition ... trying to reinvent myself to fit into a world that seems to be changing by the nanosecond. Mostly I've been working in the garden. There is no sweat like garden sweat ... it pours off my head, from my arm pits, my back, my feet and after an hour or two I'm completely soaking wet. With it seem to go the burdens of a lifetime. Yes, it wears me out, but somehow it also makes me feel younger ... and lighter ... and more connected. Weeding, pruning, replanting have given me time to think, to rediscover, to imagine where it is that I'm going and what I might be doing in the days to come.

We also did a bit of traveling to North Carolina over the 4th of July to be with our precious little family who don't live close enough to us. This month marked Noah's 5th birthday and Lisa and Deena's 10th year of living happily together as life partners and parents to Noah and Zoe. They held a a small birthday party for Noah and a "10 Year Recommitment Ceremony," at an exquisite spot in the mountains. Noah danced, Zoe read a poem she wrote just for the occasion. Promises were made by both Lisa and Deena to continue their ties of love and to try to be better and more patient with each other. This old lady shed a few tears and my husband took the photos!

Zoe, Lisa, Noah and Deena

I suppose all of this, along with my youngest brother's struggle with cancer and heart disease plus the inevitable passage of time since my mother's death over a year ago, bring me to a place of recommitment to my own life and how I want to live it. I want to ponder the big questions ... like Noah's asking his mom, "Which is higher, Mom, Heaven or Outer Space?" And "Are God and Santa Claus the same person?"

So I may or may not revisit this spot as often as I did before. I have promises to keep and a long road to travel before I find answers to those big questions. And the garden still needs tending.


Star said...

I wrestle with wanting to dip my toe back into my blog, but just when I think everything is falling in place for that to happen, one piece or another goes in a different direction. And I'm OK with that. If it is to be, the time will come when I know it's right.

In the meantime, I'm content to visit a few of my remaining friends at their blog homes. So glad you've been enjoying your summer and time with family. I'll look forward to keeping in touch whenever you check in here again.

marja-leena said...

Lovely family - thanks for sharing! And I understand the busy-ness of the garden. I've been slowing down in the blogging lately as well, and the garden is needing attention but I find it hard to work in the heat. Be well and hope you will still post once in a while.

Lucy said...

Always nice to hear from you, and share you're good, and not so good, news, and lovely photos, of family, garden etc.

No point in feeling pressured by blogging, it comes and goes, and one day we might all grow out of it, but in the meantime... I think summer's always quieter anyway.

I used to wonder about God and Father Christmas too. Saw a funny at a blog the other day: Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa!

Deirdre said...

It's good to have celebration after (and during) all the grief and worry you've carried for the last year.

Gardening is one of the best therapies I've found - sounds like it's working wonders for you.

Ann said...

Wow, your daughter looks just like you!

Becca said...

I'm glad to hear you're busy enjoying your garden and your family - both of which are beautiful.

As a gardener, you certainly know "to everything there is a season." I always enjoy your glimpses of life in the seasons along your river :)